Couple weeks ago, I turned down a very great job offer. That was one of a job of my dream. They offers to do what’s I really passionate about (strategies, writing, presentation, communication stuff), space to explore (not technical work with SOP), GREAT salary, great opportunity, foreign bosses (I always excited to work with people form different culture, I enjoy learning and improving my english, and I love the work style where people are individual but helpful), strategic office place, 9-5 strict work hour, some business trip (yes I ALWAYS love to travel). 

The reason is... with his job now, A can be easily moved to another place at every time. The offer I’ve got require me to stay at least couple years in Jakarta. “We are looking for someone who is not likely to move away once they really start to get good at their job” is exactly what they said. I know right away I have my choice already.

Even though we already decided to stay together, A asked me to rethinking my decision. He gave me the freedom, he even offered some of alternative plan if I decide to take the job. We talked, and finally I decided to turn down this offer.

This IS a heartbreaking moment for me. Always be an ambitious kid behind, with a certain childhood circumstances, my reflect is to make myself survive. I used to fight my own battle. 

But when I look back, I realize what kind of person I’ve became. This last 16 months, I grew a lot. I am not happy with some of my attitude back then, but I am happy now that I know it, and I’m on my way working to be the better version of my self.

I am not lying when I’m telling that yes, marriage close some doors for me. But as those classic proverb said, when a door is closed, there will be another opens. If not because of all the circumstances, I won’t be near what I've became today.